Single Life Is Over Forever

It's been years since I considered myself a blogger.  My last post had something about being single for the first time in a long time and here I am writing this as someone who has left single life behind for good.

The backstory:

Coming up with a proposal granted me an opportunity for creatively showing my love.  We had already discussed marriage at length; the potential for surprises came not in the fact that it was going to happen but in the where, when, and how it would happen.  My desire to do something unique and unexpected led me to decide to tap into our collective love for music by writing and performing a song.  Despite never having written a song and not being a very experienced guitar player, I embarked on a quest to write a musical proposal.  I wanted a way to record it all, so doing it at a beach or a park was out.  My house where any recording device would be easily noticed also seemed like a bad idea.  We met at Crossbridge church and that is where we had talked about getting married.  They have a recording studio there which meant that any sort of recording equipment would be a natural part of the scenery.

How on earth do I get Xiomara to come into a recording studio to be with me while I play an instrument that she’s never seen me play before?  In comes Marcus.  Xio and I had discussed asking Marcus to officiate our wedding ceremony so it seemed appropriate to include him.  It was further fitting because he is the worship music leader at the church so it would make sense if he was involved in a “recording session.”  All I needed to do was to get him to request my presence for a false recording session to which I would invite Xio.  We met a few days before and came up with a story about recording some background music for a promotional video.  The bait was set.

The day of:

It was important to me that I gently encourage her to come to the church for this “recording session.”  I would rather put off the proposal an entire week than insist that she MUST be at the church despite her very valid argument that it wouldn’t make logistical sense.  Because of this, I had only dropped a couple offhand references to a recording session by the time the afternoon had rolled around.  The two of us had somewhere to be at 7 and I had managed to pull off an intentionally early dinner.  Just as dinner prep was finishing, I casually cast my request: “it would be great if you could come to the recording session even if you just hang out and do your own thing.”

She wasn’t having it. 

She told me she wanted to get her nails done instead.  I listened to her over dinner while she talked about her day, secretly trying to come up with a way to get her to the church if only for a few minutes.  After dinner I suggested, “what if you leave a little early to get your nails done so you have time to meet me at the church and we carpool to our evening plans?”  I was then told, “we can play it by ear but if I run late I’ll just meet you there.”  My proposal plans were being taken over.  By a manicure.  I tried one desperate last ditch effort, trying not to cross the line of forcing her to be somewhere against her better judgement.  If this didn’t work, I was going to have to push everything back another week.

“What if you leave right now?”

A little put off that I was kicking her out so soon but fortunately not looking too far into it, she agreed and went on her way.  I met up with Marcus at the church where we got everything set up and then we waited.  And waited.  And waited.  It’s amazing how antsy you get when you’re on the precipice of engagement.  We waited some more.  She wasn’t running that far behind but when you have one of the most special performances of your life and you’re more than ready to make it happen, it’s amazing how slowly the clock turns.

Finally she arrived.  With a quick hug I shuffled her into the studio, shut the door.  It was so unusual that I would play guitar that I didn’t want to give her time to think about it so I started playing almost immediately.

While still strumming and singing the closing lines of “marry me, Xiomara,” I pushed the stand away and got down on one knee.  After the final chord, I pulled the ring out and asked her to marry me.  After the unexpected response of “you’re ridiculous,” she then accepted.  So here I am, a ridiculous fiancé who couldn’t be more excited to take this wonderful woman as my wife. 

Dusting Things Off

Wow.  It's been quite a while.  Life in a nutshell since my last post:

• I've gained enormous experience at my job and feel like I offer a lot of value to the University.
• I have now done decompression diving below 220ft on a mixed gas closed circuit rebreather.
• I celebrated my 5 year college reunion.
• I joined a community orchestra where I am able to play with a symphony again.
• I am also playing viola for church whenever they ask me to (monthly-ish basis).
• Christina and I recently broke up after 4 and a half years.  Single life has been unusual but I'm getting by.
• Church has been the source of my best friends.
• My legendary passport expires in 6 months.  This isn't huge news but this is my travel blog so where else can I lament about the imminent loss of the most decorated passport I'll ever own?  I hear they're never going to add pages to passports again so even if I do some crazy traveling in the future, I can never again have as many stamps as I now have.
• I started renting out the spare bedroom of the house so I can't easily have friends or family visit like they used to.  I tried to keep the spare room available but after a few years of having far fewer visitors than anticipated, I figured it was better to rent it out than keep it empty.
• I still love life every day, just as I always have.

Flight Grounded

Here we are in Utah for a phenomenal family ski vacation.  I've never seen better ski conditions in my life, the weather is great, the runs are nicely groomed, and I'm stuck in bed.  At the end of day 1 of 4, I injured my ankle.  I made about 5 runs on day 2, two runs on day 3, and a mere 1 run today.  Walking isn't a problem but any bit of pressure on my ankle is unbearable.  To further complicate things, last night I developed a pretty nasty sore throat that has put me to bed pretty much all day long.  Not the ideal way to spend Christmas Eve.

Merry Christmas everyone!

After a While

Thank goodness Blogspot auto-saves the entries that I type even when I accidentally try deleting them!  Here's what I had typed up:

Life has been pretty good lately.  I'm progressing in my job, I'm still in a wonderful relationship with Christina, I still and always love my family, and am pursuing God a little more actively.

Professional life:

The building my office is in will be torn down but before that happens, the school is giving us a new dive office.  We will be moving in October into the new space and I am very excited for the move.  The semester started up a week or so ago and it is the 3rd semester where I am the full-time Assistant Diving Safety Officer, 5th semester I've been an employee at the university, and it is the 6th time that I am being a part of this scientific diving course (the first time was as a student).  I continue to feel like a valuable employee to my employer, particularly by putting together computer-based modules with a lot of the academic information.  I have turned all of our dive theory lectures (which make up half of the semester - 24-28 hours worth of material) into online modules that the students can access any time they please.  I constantly ask for suggestions on what to change and how to make them better and have still gotten almost nothing negative back in return.  The best compliment was when a student admitted to wondering who UM hired to write and narrate the modules.  I was very flattered.

I spent two weeks working for Broadreach again on a new trip called Bonaire Advanced Scuba where we spent two weeks in Bonaire teaching Advanced and Rescue Diver certifications as well as several specialties.

Personal life:

I still do and always will love my family.  In looking back at previous posts, I am immensely ashamed to admit that I haven't said anything about the birth of my first niece Scarlett.  Liza gave birth on March 2nd to a beautiful baby girl.  Unfortunately I won't be able to see them tomorrow when Christina and I are flying through their city on our way up to Ohio to go to a college friend's wedding (maybe you all remember Matt), but I'm sure I'll see them another time.  We will see my parents, Matt and his new wife, and Richard and his new girlfriend.  Matt and Richard are two of the six Physics majors who graduated with me from Denison.  I have hardly seen them since graduation but have kept better contact with them than just about any other fellow grads.  It will be Christina's first time to Ohio and thus her first time seeing where I grew up.  I'ave been going to a community group through my church lately (you might call it a Bible study but it's not exactly) with some other guys about my age and it's been pretty good so far.  Details to come after I go more often.

Life:

Love it.

Curses

I had a whole post typed up and somehow accidentally deleted it.  Sorry.
The gist of it was that life is good.

Welcome to Home Ownership

Things I don't like, many (but not all) of which are recent developments all at the same time:

Termites
Leaky roofs
Stray cats
Ants
Holes in the floor
Random trash blowing around outside and accumulating in my yard
Assorted bugs
Lawn services that inadvertently remove wood chips/mulch
Clogged gutters
Cracked and crumbled parking space

The benefits outweigh the costs but right now I'm just starting to have a full dose of house problems.  Not fun.


In totally different news:
I'm lead rope certified now at the climbing gym as of tonight.  It's official!

Forgetful Me

I forgot that I had a blog.

I'm afraid that it's seriously losing steam.  How can I tell?  Your answer is probably wrong.  The way I can tell is not just that I'm not posting much (which is what I would have guessed to be the way I can tell my blog is seriously losing steam if I were you).  The way I can really tell is that I'm not posting much... despite my life being very interesting lately.  That's the key.  Since the last post, I spent a week with Christina in Bonaire, continued working the job, took a trip to Charlotte to see my beautiful new niece Scarlett, went to Denison and had a phenomenal one-man reunion, took the class to Little Salt Spring (and broke down on the way back, ended up literally pushing the van into RSMAS), agreed to lead a 2-week Broadreach trip to Bonaire this summer, and I have tickets for tomorrow night's Heat game - my first Heat game ever.  I have been doing some very noteworthy things that have been very interesting but sadly I haven't written about any of them here and now at nearly 2am with work 6 hours away, I'm too overwhelmed just thinking about how far behind I am to actually say anything about anything.  Sorry.

Alone Again

Not in a bad way though.  The students and my supervisor have all gone home so I'm here at the resort with no one else I know.  They are probably on the plane right now about to take off.  I am a lone traveler again for the first time in about 3 years but it will last for less than 12 hours, two of which have already gone by.  It's enough that I get just a little taste of it but not enough that I feel like I did a few years ago traveling the world alone for the better part of a year.  I think once I'm packed up and get kicked out of this room (checkout is in 45 minutes), I'll explore around a little bit and maybe go check out the research station one more time and talk to some of the students there.  Who knows.  I'll enjoy what time I have here alone and I'll enjoy even more the time that I have with Christina when she arrives.  What a wonderful vacation ahead of us!

Bonairian Birthday

This will be quick because we have dives tomorrow.

We took the diving class to Bonaire for spring break to do all of the diving required for the course.  During the week here, we've done a lot.  Today in particular, we did a well-known wreck dive to 30m (the Hilma Hooker), snorkeled with a manta ray, had a little bit of down time, did another dive farther down on the south end of the island, made dinner, got gelato, and would have done a night dive if the swells and visibility would have been in our favor.

The most memorable part of the day is definitely being in the water with the manta ray.  The group agreed that my reaction to being the one to see it and "sound the alarm" was about as good as actually being in the water with the manta.  I've never seen one before and I wanted to make sure everyone knew where it was so I started screaming and flailing about.  It got the job done because everyone in our group was able to come see it before it swam past.  It's incredible how quickly they can move with just a single flap of their wings.  I was amazed how graceful this 10ft wide creature was.  It really took my breath away.

Another memorable part of the day would have to be going to breakfast and having most of the class wish me a happy birthday when I didn't even tell them that it was my birthday.  It was a really nice touch and I appreciated it a ton.

I'm very excited for Christina to come in less than a day and a half!

[Title]

Either my creativity eludes me or it's been leaking out of me recently without me noticing.  I got out my laptop tonight to type an update since it's been a while since I've posted on a regular basis.  In many ways, I enjoy writing.  Try telling that to my 6 year-old self and you'll never convince him that it's true.  I enjoy writing because it provides a creative outlet to use a different part of my brain that doesn't often get used.  Often I really feel creative and feel accomplished when I read back over a post and hear how nice it sounds.  Tonight, I've got nothing.  I want to pick a topic about something that happened or is happening to me and poetically run with it but it won't come.

As for what's going on in my life, the biggest bit of news is that on any day, I am going to be an uncle!  I've never been necessarily good with babies but I'm really excited for Liza and Mike and can't wait to meet her!

Now, I'm just far too tired to type anything more.  Goodnight Moon.

Hey Look, It's the New Guy

There are times at work when it is evident that I'm the rookie.  Sure there are certainly times when I feel like I'm a pro and I have confidence that verges on overconfidence but that's not what I'm here to talk about.  When it really comes down to it, I have been a scuba diver for less than 5 years, teaching for less than 4 years (have certified only a few dozen divers, and was introduced to scientific diving 2 years ago.  In terms of boating, I used to be a competitive sailor of 1-2 person boats at a small spot one month out of the year back in elementary, middle, and high school.  My experience on motor boats is not really all that extensive, particularly over the past 10 years.  I'm now teaching graduate students how to be research divers as a full-time job and then over winter break teaching them how to be proficient motor boat operators.  I've been living in Miami for 2 and a half years and part of both courses require me not only to understand the local marine environment for myself but to know it so well that I can teach it to others.

Tonight is one of those times where I really feel like a kid trying to play with the big boys.  They're nice and they help me out but they also have to pick up a lot of my slack.  After thinking about it today, I couldn't come up with any special skills I bring to the table that aren't already there.  I hate it when I'm the one who is holding others back; I'm making a valiant effort but I can't use my inexperience as an excuse: I need to get better.  In sports you improve the most by competing with and against better players and it seems like this is going to be the same case here.  I'll get my butt kicked a few times but I'll learn even if it has to be through my mistakes.  It will take a while to reach the point that I'm no longer the new guy but it's something everyone has to go through I suppose.

In happier news, I get to see Christina for the first time in just over 3 weeks!

A Year to Come

Golly it's been a while since I last posted.  A lot has happened since then, namely finishing up the semester, getting a cave diving certification, and having family visit for Christmas.  Now I'm up in South Carolina with some family to bring in the new year.  I'm not going to say much more because I need to pack and get back to family.  Hopefully I'll get to post more later about the life I've been living.  No promises though: I'm really busy living it.

Let's do it 2013!

Time Keeps on Slippin'

Wow, more than a month since my last post!!  Yikes!  Sorry world.

A ton has happened since then, notably going to Texas for Thanksgiving with Christina.  I had an absolute blast (also meeting up with James too!) and I'm thrilled that I went.  I am still exhausted and am not going to try to write out what happened, but here's a quick overview:

Tuesday night: flew in, met one of Christina's friends and her (Christina's) dog
Wednesday: went for a walk, met up with James for lunch then met another of Christina's friends and brother, then went out to dinner with her family
Thursday: walked/jogged around a gorgeous lake with her family before going to her grandmother's house for Thanksgiving dinner and games, then went home for a movie (sleep)
Friday: saw Life of Pi, got a massage, went to dinner with a large group of Christina's family friends, went back home for a big party
Saturday: early lunch with a few of Christina's friends, a tour of her high school, wedding at a ranch, then straight to what was left of Christina's 5-year high school reunion (it was really late at that point)
Sunday: church, then flew back to Miami

I met about a hundred thousand people over the past 6 days and it was great.  That being said, I enjoy being home and I enjoy sleep.  Goodnight.

Sometimes I Get a Feeling (2)

A while back I talked about people seeming to avoid me.  Apparently people read my blog.  To address this topic, I am not mentally or logistically prepared to take on loads of visitors.  The post was a result of a few people nearby who haven't made much of an effort to see me, specifically to grab lunch or go out or something else equally simple.  I hope that I didn't give the impression that I want everyone I know to fly to Miami and stay with me for a week at a time.  Even with a house, I don't have the beds, schedule, or hosting prowess to have such visitors.  I hope this doesn't come off the wrong way but at the same time, I would hate to have the world show up at my doorstep expecting me to be a host.  If you want to visit me, just let me know and we can try sorting something out.

Pants on Fire

I have been reminded why I don't like politics.  It's a game that involves coercion, deception, money, and lies.  I do not endorse such games.  This and seemingly all presidential races just turn into two men and their respective cohorts scheming up ways to bend and twist the truth and often to outright lie in order to make a point.  The worst part is that it works.  More people hear these lies and take them as fact than do the people who actually see the statements for the lies that they are.  This only works to perpetuate the strategy.  It's part of the political game and both sides play by those rules because if they don't then they don't stand a chance.  It's a cruel and vile game of which I want to have no part.  Unfortunately, I don't have too much of a choice.  In reality, there are 6 presidential candidates according to my trusty Wikipedia research but realistically, it only comes down to two men.  One has been running the country for the past 4 years and as far as I've heard he hasn't lived up to a lot of promises he made.  The other is making a lot of promises that many people don't seem to understand or think will work for lack of details.  Both are dropping lies about the other and the other's position so who the heck am I to believe anymore???

Obama already has 47% of the vote absolutely no matter what he does.  My impression is that Obama supporters are like many Mac users.  Once they get one, they suddenly think that it's the greatest thing since sliced bread and no matter how many times they have to go to the Apple store to get it fixed, they still insist that nothing on Earth competes with it.  Obama supporters are convinced that he can do no wrong and any word against him is a fallacy.  Romney has a more difficult role: the other 40-some percent of the country is convinced that Obama has mortally wounded this nation and another 4 years of him would surely be the end of the world as we know it.  No matter what either one of them says, they're still guaranteed that percentage and both of them are well aware of it.  The last little sliver of the voting population, like me, are the ones who are really going to decide the fate of this election.  Again, the candidates are well aware of this.  So what do they both do to reach us?  They prey on our apathy and ignorance by deceiving us.  They tell us about how the other candidate is a horrible monster who doesn't deserve to run this country.  They tell us about how the US will crumble if the other is elected.  They target our lack of familiarity with the facts and feed us lies to get us to believe what they want us to believe.

I'm sick of it.

I don't know who I'll vote for but being an undecided voter in the biggest swing state in the country, I know my voice is pretty significant and I will vote but good grief is this hard.

Is voting really meant to be this stressful?

Politics Round 3

I heard about but did not see a Romney billboard that was talking about how if you want a world with gay marriage, then vote for Obama.
The advertisement was flawed from the start because that's exactly what half the country wants.  Maybe I'm biased because I have friends and family that are homosexual and I think they are wonderful.  I think that yes, marriage is between a man and a woman but does it need to be exclusively so?  I honestly think not.  I really do think that it's fine for men to love men and women to love women.  I don't believe that it's my place to tell someone that he or she is not allowed to love someone else.  How can anyone control who someone else loves?  Just because I am not gay doesn't mean that no one else is allowed to be and I'm not sure why some people think that that's exactly what it means.

I think this is going to be a tough decision for the election.  It would be nice to be able to pick and choose what to take from each candidate because they both have good ideas of their own and I think that if we took the best of both worlds that this country would flourish.

On a side note, I found out today that middle schoolers don't play real football anymore because we as a country have deemed it unsafe.  They instead play flag football without helmets, without kicking/punting, and only 8 downs to reach the endzone.  The way the game is set up is not very similar to the sport it is trying to mimic.  No I don't like or appreciate football and would not choose to play it but I am saddened that we would step in and bastardize the sport.  If you don't want your kids playing a contact sport, sign them up for cross country, tennis, swimming, track, or even basketball or soccer which do have contact but not in the same way.  If your child wants to play a contact sport and that is his dream, then work with him to play it safely.  Don't go changing the entire sport.  These are the same people that call it bullying when a coach has players run laps and have outlawed it.  I don't know what the goal is here in adolescent athletics, but I'm not a fan of the changes.  I wish George Carlin was still alive with his biting repartee to come up with an edgy, witty stand-up routine about it all.

Politics Round 2

I don't know why I'm watching this because this is completely unlike me but here it is:

Notes on the Presidential Debate:

National Debt:
Romney: Cut spending on everything that he doesn't want to have to borrow money from China from.  Keep taxes low in order to have more people being put to work because they can afford the taxes.
Obama: Making excuses for the debt he came into.  Talked about the deficit cuts he made but he doubled the national debt after 4 years when he promised to instead cut it in half.

Then Christina called and talked to me for a while...

Education:
Romney: Local and state are most involved but Federal has the ability to get involved.  Let the parents and children decide what schools to go to.  He's not going to cut education funding.
Obama: Students need federal support.  Forgive student loans.

Romney claims he'll collaborate with the government and work together with everyone meeting with everyone on a regular basis.
Obama says he'll listen to take ideas from Repub or Dem as long as it benefits the middle class. 

Closing:
Obama: talking about how nice things have been the past 4 years and wants to continue doing the same thing for the good of the country.  Everyone gets a "fair shot" and "fair share" and "everyone's playing by the rules."  He says he's kept the promise to the middle class.
Romney: Concerned about the future of the country saying how big of an election it is.  Promises to get income up again.  Says he'll help create 12 million new jobs.  Many will lose health insurance, but will cut the cost of healthcare.  He will help medicare.  He will "not cut our commitment to our military."


In terms of the deficit, I think Obama will not fix it.  It's getting worse and it will continue to get worse.  As for that and everything else Romney said, he has a lot of big plans but if he's elected he's going to have to make them get through Congress and House if he wants them to be put in place.  If they don't agree with him, then all his plans are lost.  He can promise all he wants but his plans are going to need to be passed in order for any of his promises are going to be upheld.  Romney was much more prepared and on point than Obama but perhaps that was just a matter of Obama having an off-night.  Romney's plans seemed to make more sense but part of that could have been a product of his better presence on the podium.  Overall from this debate, I'd say Romney 1, Obama 0.

This was just one debate and I was distracted for some of it and missed a good portion of the beginning.  I certainly can't base a decision on that alone.  Well, there's still time to figure it out.

On a side note, the moderator was kind of entertaining because he couldn't hardly get a word in.

Diving Symposium

Golden Gate Bridge

 This will be short because it's well after 1am and I have to be at work by 8:30 tomorrow.

I spent last week in Monterey, California at a symposium for the American Academy of Underwater Sciences (AAUS).  They are the organization that sets the standards for scientific diving.  It was interesting to see my first annual AAUS symposium and to see coastal central California.  It really was beautiful out there even though the pictures might not entirely show it.

Steep Streets of San Francisco

Kelp on the Beach!

The symposium was successful in the sense that I was able to see the other Diving Safety Officers (DSOs) from other universities.  The chance to network was very helpful because I now have faces to put with names and diving programs.  It might take a few years to really get it but I'll eventually get to the point where I personally know the DSOs from the universities that we are getting some students from as well as to where we're sending some divers once they finish at UM.

Monterey, California

I learned while there how special our program is.  In talking to people from other programs, it made me have an even greater appreciation for ours.  Our gear is top of the line, we have a big pool, year-round diving that is easily accessible, 2 full-time motivated dive officers, extensive courses, the list goes on.  My opinion of our program being one of the best is now much more based on actual experience instead of bias.

I have already begun working on a presentation for the next symposium in Curacao.  It outlines our training highlighting specifically some of our unique and cutting-edge techniques.  I am proud of the scientific diving program I work for and I am extraordinarily thankful for being able to be a part of it.  There is often a feeling of frustration when trying to explain my job to people because there is only a small fraction of people who actually understand what I do and to everyone else who doesn't quite understand, my job description doesn't quite describe what I do.  It's a frustration that is largely unnecessary since others' impressions of what I do don't matter but I still feel it from time to time.  Maybe I'm just developing an ego because I do honestly think that our program is better than most others and I believe from the bottom of my heart that my opinion is virtually unbiased

Is it really a bad thing to be proud of my work and to believe that we are doing the best we can do in the diving program?  My feelings are internalized and I'm not going around telling other DSOs that I think our program is better but is it really a bad thing just to think it?  I sure hope not because it's too late and I can't help it.  I think I'm overall personally humble and modest but apparently part of me wants to throw modesty to the wind and have more recognition and respect in the professional world.

Politics

Politics.  I hate it.  I have never understood, appreciated, or been interested in politics at any level.  However, the election is coming up soon and I feel that it is my responsibility to exercise my right to vote.  I have never affiliated with a political party before which at this stage is beneficial because I'm not swayed one way or another based on blind loyalty to one party or another.

One issue that I see recurring on news and campaigns is taxation.  One side claims that I should pay more taxes while the other side is telling me that rich people should give me a break and pay some of my share for me.  Both candidates are saying that their system of taxation is fair so who am I supposed to believe?

Taxation was created in the US on a percentage system.  Everyone is required to pay back a certain percentage of whatever he or she makes.  The rich pay hundreds, thousands, tens of thousands, even hundreds of thousands of dollars more than I pay in taxes to the government while the poor pay much less than I do.  The percentage system was put in place to account for the rich making more money than the middle and lower classes.  They already pay tons more than we pay.  If I work my butt off my whole life and earn a fortune, I don't want to be responsible for paying more than my slice of the pie.  With that system, we're going to turn into the European Union where everyone calls on Germany to bail them out.  How can we expect to keep calling upon the upper class to bail everyone else out?  If we keep taking their money, sooner or later there won't be an upper class left and who will save us then?  Whose money will we take once we exhaust all of their savings?

What I think is fair is everyone stepping up and pitching in their portion, even if this means the majority of our country (myself included) pay a little bit more.  Where that money is spent is a whole other issue.

In other news, I'm going to California on Sunday!  It is for the American Academy of Underwater Sciences and I'm quite excited about it.  It will be interesting to see how other programs are run.  Plus it will be nice to go to Monterrey for my first time.

Deflation

For my job (Yes, as a teacher.  I never though I would say those words.), I am creating modules that are computer-based for our students to complete while we are out of town.  The task is very straightforward and generally involves opening an already existing powerpoint presentation that has been used for years to teach the class, making it more interesting, record the audio of myself presenting it slide by slide, then write up a 10 question quiz at the end to make sure they understood all the material.  It's more involved and glorified than that but if you strip it all down to the bare bones, that's essentially what I'm doing.  Yes, it is straightforward.  However, it is extraordinarily more time consuming than it sounds.  For a 12 minute presentation, I put about 15-20 hours of work into it.  I have just completed my third and fourth presentations and I'm pretty satisfied with them.  They have all the information in a good powerpoint layout without too many words, sprinkled with photos, splashed with humor, narrated in a very interested and engaging tone, and takes the place of a long lecture.

It has finally come back around to me that students have completely disregarded the presentation and have just skipped to the quiz.  They can take it a few times so I imagine that they just re-take it, learning which are the right answers along the way, until they pass it.  I really shouldn't care, but the hardest part for me is all of the work that I've put into it gets completely disregarded.  I put all of my free time into making these modules as educational, interesting, engaging, and entertaining as I possibly can, and then it turns out to be for nothing.  It's a deflating feeling.

I don't like what it feels like but in time, I'll get over it.  I don't want my happiness to be dependent on what other people do or don't do.  If my students already know it all, then there's no problem with them skipping everything.  If they don't know it all, it will show up on the midterm and final exams.  I am proud of my work and I enjoyed putting forth so much effort to make what I've made.  That's far more important than whether anyone else appreciates it or not.