Getting Help

I did something out of the ordinary this weekend. I went to Fall Retreat with Campus Crusade, one of the Christian organizations on campus. The first of two most memorable moments was on the second night when all the guys separated from the girls (about 40 of us perhaps) and had some serious bonding time. The other moment I can't forget is the first night when everyone went out on the beach after the first session. There was a ton of socializing going on but at one point I decided to just get up and walk down the beach. Light pollution filled the sky and choked the stars but no amount of light could stop the cool refreshing breeze, warm sand beneath my feet, and soothing lapping of the waves. As I walked I started to pray, asking for help making up my mind about next year and beyond. It went something like this:

Lord, please allow me to find some sort of a research position with the University.

Well...as long as it's your will. Please let it be your will to have me find some sort of field work.

I mean, please let your will be to have me do something interesting in marine science. I mean, I am putting a lot of effort into it after all and it would be great to keep up with it and not have spent this semester in vain.

It was sometime around then that all of a sudden I nearly fell to my feet with an epiphany.

Do not worry about tomorrow.

I have never understood it to the level that I did that night. I had heard it before, I had said it before, and I even have it as a quote on my facebook profile (Matthew 6:31-34) but never before have I understood it so clearly. I expect you to see what I mean but don't imagine you'll “get it” as vividly as I did but that's okay. What it means is that I want God's will to be done. I'm not in control of my life: going to South Africa is a prime example. Because I'm not in control and because my main desire is to be used by God, there's not really much I can do in the way of stressing about my future. All of a sudden, my life became way easier and more fulfilling at the same time. The reason I can brag about this is that everyone can (and should) at least consider trying it out.  It's not a “hey look what I can do aren't I special?” but more of a “woah, this is awesome and you should totally try it!”

I'm still pursuing a variety of different options but my stress level is at exactly 0 and I'm loving it, not that it ever even reached 4 (unit-less and without a reference point just to keep you all guessing). Today while in the library I had the sudden urge to investigate research options online instead of working on a lab writeup or studying for tomorrow's test. I found some really cool projects that would benefit the environment, give me experience, and allow me to travel. What more could I want? It would be on a volunteer basis but as long as I'm paying for classes here, why not try to gain experience somewhere more fun and exotic? Some of the options include Alaska, Thailand, Belize, Antarctica, Thailand, South Africa, Australia, Fiji, etc.

In other random news, I have my ticket to see the Dalai Lama, my camera is being fixed by Canon in VA right now for free (warranties are great), and unfortunately since I chose not to pay the athletic fee, I don't get to go to the U Miami and Florida State U game on Saturday unless I suddenly decide it's worth 200 bucks.  Yeah right.