I was 100% convinced a few years ago that I was to study abroad in Kenya. I started learning Swahili, researching the culture and history, and thinking of nothing but Kenya from the day I made the decision to go. A week before my flight I experienced one of the worst days of my life: Denison prohibited me from going based on a lack of political stability (the Dec 27 2007 elections turned violent). I reluctantly ended up in South Africa.
While there, a friend of mine invited me to attend an informational meeting nearby about a spring break trip to Mozambique. After a lot of thought, I decided to go on the trip. Since scuba diving was part of the trip, I decided to become certified.
While in Mozambique, I was presented with two options: either remain an open water diver and rarely dive the rest of my life or invest a ton more time and money to become an instructor, and make it back over the course of a year off after undergrad.
It's hard to believe that it was all without reason. Look what has stemmed from one of my worst days I can remember. I would not have visited Meg in Hawai'i or met all of her friends, would never have made it to the Philippines or met the Fajardos, Armand, Marin, Brett, Mark, Chris, Jay, Tomi, Maria, or the rest of the crew at Capt'n Gregg's, and never would have been to Indonesia or Singapore meeting the Weckerlings, or the dive crews at Buddha and Lutwala Dive. I would not have a one-way ticket to Australia and certainly wouldn't be lined up to work for Broadreach this summer.
It's hard to say one way or another, but if these things hadn't played out as they did, I might not have this yearning for a massive upheaval of societal restraints. Speaking of, I've received more feedback on that blog post than on any other; responses have run the gamut of encouraging, apprehensive, inquisitive, discouraging, curious, and fearful.
The feeling to temporarily sever ties from civilization is not new, but it has been occurring much more frequently and clearly over the past few months which is why I finally said something about it. I've pandered the idea in a hypothetical light until recently when I at last posed the question: what's holding me back? When this question could not be answered, my mind began to roll with the idea of actually doing it and it's been snowballing ever since, gaining momentum every day although I am still incredibly uncertain whether or not I will act upon the urge. Here are a few obstacles I have thus far recognized: not having enough camera batteries (you'll have to fight me and pry my camera from my hands if you think I should do an adventure of this degree without taking photos – it's the one piece of technology I insist upon), lack of support, lack of emergency contact, location (where is it legal to just plop down and live on the land anymore?), and lack of training.
Here's the thing: I have this spark right now and I recognize that it is but a spark; if I don't let it ignite, it will be extinguished and I will live the rest of my life wondering what could have happened. Like I've said, I don't know why I feel this way, I don't know where to go, I don't know for how long, I don't know how to do it, and I don't know what I expect to get out of it. All I know is that for some reason or other I have a serious urge to live for a while with no connection to the world as I know it.
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