Singing the Blues

As I've said before, I have very little excuse to complain based on where I'm living, what I'm doing, and how much fun I'm having along the way. However good days wouldn't be good unless you have bad days to give perspective. If there were 365 days of happiness a year, life would be boring. Feelings of sadness, frustration, or anger are not only normal but necessary for a healthy balanced emotional life. Sure this is coming from someone who hardly knows the difference between Freud and Pavlov or Plato and Confucius, but considering how much I love life no matter what obstacle it throws at me, I would say that I have at least a little room to talk.

Where were we... ah yes, singing the blues. It would be painfully dull for everyone to get a narration of the goings-on of every downer I've had and I wouldn't wish anyone to read a post like that. What is much more relevant is how I Feel about things. The problem is that I don't really know how to describe my feelings in words. I've experienced a high concentration of humbling conversations over the past week. It started during my last few days on Passion and continued well into my first several days back at my old job. It's a varied combination of people being tired of me, sick of talking to me, disagreeing with my actions, reprimanding me for not doing something a particular way, and scolding me for asking questions. I can deal with quite a bit being dished at me, but the fact that it is incessant is getting under my skin. All of these feelings lead me to believe that I'm not very professional, competent, fun to talk to, or a hard worker. I know myself and I know that I have all the best of intentions and I'm always just trying to do my best but sometimes it's simply not enough of a consolation. Sometimes, people can just make you feel so small that you can't even be seen, then someone else comes along and takes the liberty of crushing you down even smaller. It's interesting how every once in a while a ton of negativity comes crashing down at once.

These thoughts then lead me further to the heart of those feelings to discover that I am weak and alone. I have no friends or family here. I am alone in the crowd. There is no one here to talk to, to hug. No one who understands who I really am.

In a couple days I'll be completely over it all (actually I already feel better), but for now I'll keep hanging in there. As I was saying before, without the bad days, good days just wouldn't taste as sweet.

Lifestyles of Those Working for the Rich and the Famous

Dear Friends,

I do apologize for not updating as I should. I have had a few opportunities come and go but my motivation has been lacking. It's easy to forget that after yachting consumed my life for over 2 weeks that many of you are still not sure what it's like. I have about 30 minutes before I plan to head out and go catch How to Train Your Dragon at the cinema. Until then, I will try to explain what it's like to work on a private charter mega-yacht.

Pictured above is a typical guest cabin

Schedules rotated regularly from day to day. The first 3 days, I was on the 12-4am watch which meant I could go to bed at 7pm, wake up at 11:30pm, and be on deck ready to work at 11:55. The first order of business at midnight (or whenever the last guest went to bed) was to move all the bulky chairs on the aft deck where the guests eat every meal, sweep up the crumbs, spray K2R on every oil spot on the floor, scrub it away with a pad and water on hands and knees, scrub away all skid marks made by guests dragging chairs, rinse the deck, dry it off, clean and dry the main and two side tables, then move all chairs back. More often than not, I would also have to rinse the decks which meant getting out a hose, spraying down all hundred feet or so of an exterior side deck, wipe it off with a squeegie, then touch it up with a chamois. Additionally, every hour on the hour I would have to fill out the boat log with environmental and boat conditions. At 4am when the next watch came, I was able to get about 4-5 hours of sleep after briefly checking the engine room.

During the day, things would be different. Any time we took up anchor, the swim platform on the far aft of the boat would have to be packed away. Tenders and jet-skis had to be lifted out of the water up onto the second deck and then they needed to be quickly rinsed, washed, rinsed, dried, and secured. Kayaks, life jackets, noodles, rafts, goggles, snorkeling gear, etc had to be thoroughly rinsed and packed away. As the anchor was hauled in, I would go into the bow to flake the chain, making sure it didn't pile up on itself and become clogged or tangled somehow. When we arrived to the next location, all the tenders, jet-skis, noodles, life jackets, rafts, goggles, snorkeling gear, towels, etc were brought back out and would stay out until either the next move or until sunset.

The hardest part about the job was not the constant work, or seeing people relaxing on vacation right in front of me. The hardest part was trying not to screw everything up. Never being on a yacht before, I was very uneasy as to the particular details of what needed to be done and how it had to happen. I felt as if I was constantly doing things wrong and would regularly ask to make sure. Not only in terms of the work, but joining a team that has been working together for years is not easy. They know each other almost down to how everyone else thinks. It should come as no surprise as they all live together in close quarters 24/7, as well as eat, work, and hang out together. It's not easy just to jump into a group like that.

In stark contrast, my cabin - I sleep on the upper bunk.

So the big question is whether or not I will do it again. Even I don't know the answer to that. I'm going to focus on the definite things such as spending the summer in Egypt and the almost definite things such as taking a semester at U of Miami. Any bridge that comes up after that will be crossed as necessary. If I have a few months between one thing and another, yachting is definitely a good way to bank a lot of money in a short amount of time, and I will keep that in mind. However in the meantime, Passion is about to leave for the Mediterranean thus I'll focus on trying to get my temporary job back at the dive shop. Wish me luck!

I'm on a BOAT!

Just to let everyone know, I've been working on Passion for about a week and a half now, 6 days being spent on the boat with guests on board. It's been a lot of work but also a lot of fun at the same time. Would I do it again? With this group, yes I would. One of the things that's easy to forget is that this crew is not typical: everyone gets along. Apparently on a ton of boats, that's not the case.

Unfortunately the best shot I have of the exterior

We've been from St Maarten to St Barths, BVI, and now we're sitting at port in either St Thomas or St John, US Virgin Islands. We moved when I was asleep and so I'm not exactly sure. I get to go to shore relatively frequently as well as snorkel, play beach football with the guests, swim, go tubing, sail the laser, and ride jet skis. Sometimes my going ashore consists of taking out garbage, but at least I get to see more of these islands than those who stay on board. Most of my work consists of rinsing, cleaning, rinsing, and drying off again. I don't think being a deckhand on a private yacht is what I want to do with the rest of my life, but it might be a perfectly viable option to make money for a year or so. First thing's first, and that's getting course selection approval from the University of Miami where, by the way, I have been accepted. Until next time, don't sleep in so late, stop to watch the birds every once in a while, and eat your vegetables. Peace!

Right Place, Right Time

The one guy I had contact with before coming to the Caribbean is the captain of a 173-foot yacht and his name is Colin. Colin gets the credit for me being on St Maarten. If it weren't for him (having one little distant connection to this island), I would probably be in Barbados right now. Last week he offered me what is called “day work” on his yacht. Day work involves scrubbing, cleaning, polishing, washing, rinsing, drying, staining, waxing, etc. If the yacht was a butcher shop, I'd be the one killing the cows. It's eight hours of physical labor under the sun in the heat of the day and it sure ain't glamorous. Imagine detailing cars 8 hours a day in the summer sun for a week. It's not pretty, but it pays the bills, I'm getting to know more people, I feel very productive, and … well, I'm getting to the next part.

I came in early (per usual) on Thursday, my last scheduled day of work, and bumped into the temporary deckhand having breakfast. One of the first things he tells me is that he spent all night deliberating and finally decided to take a permanent position on another boat. I bumped into Colin later and he asked me when I was planning to leave the island and how work was going with the dive shop. After answering that I'd be here for a while longer and work at the dive shop was completely off and on, he asked if that meant I would be available to leave the island for a couple weeks at a time to which I said that I certainly could.

This little conversation left me with a smile on my face because I was expecting that I might be able to work for him a little bit more sometime before leaving the island. I was not prepared for what happened. A coupe hours later he called me below deck and asked me flat out if I wanted to work for him as a deckhand on a 16-day charter beginning in 2 days. He made sure to explain the details and the large amount of work that would be involved and within the hour the deal was sealed. So tomorrow marks my first day on a yacht (I did spend a week on a schooner, but that's completely different), my first day as a full-time (though temporary) deckhand, and my first time with guests on a yacht in my life. I don't have any experience or any qualifications to take this job, but because I was there when Martin was leaving, I got the job. Well, and because Colin is really cool.

The charter will take 12 guests, all of which are regulars on the boat and will spend 16 days going to St Barths, the British Virgin Islands, and St Thomas. I'm thrilled to be a part of it and expect that I'll have a great time doing it. I will have internet access but they made it sound as if I will be busy all day every day so my access will be limited. For anyone interested, here is the link to Passoin:
http://www.mycharter.com/PASSION/index.asp?pass=952891

Post-date

I threw a post up for the 26th of Feb. I know it's out of order but I forgot that I never wrote about it. I'm working on getting caught up:
Finding Blaskie
Playing for Money
Yacht Life (this probably won't come for at least a week since I'm not going to start working on a yacht until Monday)

The latest news on my life plans are this: try to get into University of Miami to take a semester of oceanography classes. If I decide it's awesome, I'll stay another semester and so on. If I don't like it, I'll get the STCW yachting certification and spend many months on a yacht while I figure out what I want to do with my life. If I don't get into U of Miami, maybe I'll just be a scuba instructor until Christmas time. Or apply somewhere else that's not as good.

3.14

Today marks the completion of 23 years of being alive. Hooray! I made it! I'm feeling a bit older but I still have the world at my fingertips.

I haven't yet told anyone it's my birthday b/c I'm sure that as soon as I do, people will start insisting that I go out and insisting on drinking drinks that they insist on buying for me. It is easier to just let it go and celebrate with people I know when I go home.

Work is going very well so far, exploring the island has not happened yet, I get my first paycheck on Monday, and I'm trying very hard to find a cheaper and better place to live.

As for post-summer plans, I don't have anything figured out yet. I am really considering taking a semester of oceanography courses and then 6 months or a year of working on a yacht to decide what I really love. Yes, it would postpone grad school (if I go - remember it has always been only a possibility, never a definite plan).

Until next time, keep checking back for more, take care, and live your life with a purpose.

Standard Life Crisis

This post is much more for my own immediate good than anything else. It not so much an update as it is me recognizing the necessity to put all of my possible plans down in writing. It is a perfect day to think about my life because it is very gloomy and rainy outside. The possibilities start with the simplest and go up to the most extreme.

At the end of the summer, I will continue with my original plan of being a basic scuba instructor somewhere (perhaps Red Sea or Great Barrier Reef) for about 3-4 months. Christmas will be spent at home (hopefully including a quick ski trip somewhere!) and then grad school would start in late February in New Zealand. After two years of obtaining a masters degree, I have no plans.

By the time late August rolls around, I will get on a plane to London Heathrow. During the final month of the racing season in England, my work is going to consist of cleaning boats (decks and hulls) while perhaps gaining experience sailing on any boat that offers me a position. The money and experience will be well worth the travel expenses. When the weather turns for the worst and the boats leave in search of warmer waters, I will move probably to the Red Sea and spend 2-3 months working as a dive instructor before going home for Christmas (hopefully including a quick ski trip somewhere!). Grad school would then start in late February in New Zealand. After the two years that it takes to receive a masters degree, I have no plans.

Immediately after Broadreach is over in late August, I will spend a semester taking university classes in oceanography and/or marine biology. The benefits here are that the subject matter is interesting, I will receive a proper introduction to marine sciences, the benefits of being a student would be back (discounts, clubs, organizations, many cool people my age, etc), health insurance would be covered under my parents' plan until I'm 25, and as long as the university is near water I could keep up with diving and boating. However, the downside is that I will be paying a lot of tuition, living in an expensive American apartment, I will have to deal with winter, and I won't be living somewhere exotic like the life I've been getting used to. After going home for Christmas (hopefully including a quick ski trip somewhere!), I will either move out to New Zealand in late February for a masters or decide that I like the school so much that I end up staying there for a degree. Two years after completing a masters, I have no plans.

My last option that I've given to myself is going to be the farthest from my original plan. Before training starts in May, I'm going to fly up to Florida to get what's called the STCW95, a basic qualification required by most boats in order to work even as a simple deckhand. Once I finish working with Broadreach in late August, I'm not sure where exactly I will go but what I will do is definite. With my degree in Physics, experience as a diving instructor, loose grasp of the French language, and the STCW95, I will find a long-term position on a yacht. While on this yacht, not only will I be building experience but I will be training as an engineer. Once leaving the yacht, I will be able to get my yachtmaster qualification and then do more training as an engineer. I'm not sure about the details but training off and on boats will continue for 5-6 years at which point I will be able to work as chief or second engineer on a large (150 ft) yacht of my choosing. The benefits are that my job consists of fixing things, I will be living on a yacht, my work by nature will consist of traveling to beautiful coastal areas, there is a very high demand for engineers that will only increase over the next 5-10 years, if I decide yachts aren't my thing, I'll have plenty of training that can be applied to a lot of other things, vacation time is long and frequent (sometimes 2 months on and two months off), and depending on the boat I could easily be making 6 figures before 2017. On the other hand, it's a huge commitment and I don't really know what the yachting life is like – I don't scare easily but making a decision like this would be the most frightening thing I've ever done.

I'm not an idiot – this fork in the road is not like a game show where I pick what's behind doors 1-4 and that's that. I of all people am well aware that things change. If I don't end up taking one of the four proposed paths or any combination thereof, other opportunities come up which can change everything. One thing is for certain though: whatever I end up doing before Christmas, it will affect (not necessarily determine) the rest of my life. Let me also say that I of all people understand the beauty of life as a full journey. I'm not looking at these options like “Oh no I have to pick one!!!!” but my attitude is more along the lines of “Alright, here are some of my top options. Which one will I most enjoy?” Ideas and input are always welcome but I think prayer is going to be my best bet.

Oh the Possibilities

One of my diving students is really cool. I've been hanging out with him a ton since he came in last week. He works on boats and we were talking last night about the jobs that are available for divers in the sailing/yachting industry. He told me that during the English racing season, work is easy to find cleaning boats or even working on the boats as part of the crew. Apparently it is very lucrative and he pretty much guaranteed that he could find me a job for a month after summer camp is over. I haven't made any plans post-summer camp and so working for a month in England for all the boats coming through sounds quite appealing. Certainly there's a lot to think about and many other ideas to consider. I'll keep the blog very up to date with any ideas that come my way.

Parmesan Rolls

I got back from a great night dive and all of the markets seem to close at 9 and thus I was stuck to eat whatever I had left waiting for me at the crew house. This consisted of two rolls, a small container of parmesan cheese, and juice. Here's my secret recipe for my marvelous gourmet dinner so you too can share my experiences wherever you are:
Tear two stale rolls horizontally by hand and place on a plate.
Sprinkle parmesan cheese liberally onto one half and place the other half on top.
Microwave for 12 seconds.
Do not let cool.
Serve with cold juice.

This is what my meals are turning into. I make it work, but I've seen better culinary days. I'm probably going to swing by Subway right now on my way to the dive center. It's a shame, isn't it. In my defense, St Maarten doesn't have much traditional food of their own so I'm not really missing much by going to an American chain. I would not do it in Indonesia or Philippines unless overtaken by nostalgia.

Settling In

Believe it or not, things have actually been going my way since I've been on the island. I ran into an unexpectedly rough start when the airlines lost my guitar. Otherwise I made it safely to the crew house and got settled in. The island seems to be very Americanized. I've been living for 4 months where left is right and right is wrong so now I'm dancing with everyone on the sidewalk trying to get out of their way since I want to stay left and they want to walk on their right. Looking left before crossing streets is also proving to be difficult too but I'm a quick re-learner and I haven't caused any accidents yet. English is the most widely used language, American chains abound (ACE, McDonalds, Subway, Baskin Robbins, KFC, etc etc etc), and the thing that tops it all off is that the US dollar is the most widely used currency here.

3 Caribbean reef sharks looking for a snack

Thanks to a distant connection, I got in touch with Dive Safaris and was able to go with them on a dive in search of sharks. Boy was that ever a success! We found 5 (out of many) sharks that apparently hang out at a particular reef on a regular basis. I thought to myself that if this dive was any indication on what was to come, I have found the right place to dive. As it turns out, St Maarten does not have the best diving. After several days of diving (for work and for fun), I can equate it to the diving on the Gili Islands. There are some redeeming traits such as wrecks, sharks, stingrays, and barracudas, but by and large it's nothing compared to the pristine diving I found in the Philippines.

The crew house I'm in is expensive but the money from the part-time work at the dive center is juuust enough to cover it plus food. They keep me very busy there. In other words, I keep myself very busy there by helping fill tanks, set up gear, wash equipment, carry tanks, etc. The more I help out, the more chance I have to be the first one in line for work there. The people I'm living with are a different breed. I can't really explain them, but maybe I'll be around them enough for a story or two to come up.

The only other thing on my mind is that I'm reeeeeeaaaaaly thinking of going for the STCW95. This is the most basic qualification that is usually required by all boats, sailing or motor. My dream has always been to work as a dive instructor on a sailboat and this seems to be the next step to see that dream come true. I have to look into it a bit more, but I really would like to pursue it.