Rain, Rain, Rain

I apologize for the lack of visuals but I suppose it's about time for an update anyway. I am unable to convey the mood that is set by the gray cloudy gloom that I have been experiencing for the past 6-7 days and which is expected to linger for another week or so. I can't convey the feeling, but try to imagine not seeing the sun at all, waking up to rain every other morning, and seeing drizzle scattered throughout the day every day for a week. The gloom dissuades me from being active and naturally hinders optimism. With that in mind, it's difficult for even me to be blind to the little day to day downers. Please allow one post that's not filled with smiles, flowers, butterflies, and kittens.

I work from 8am until about 4pm all seven days of the week. Of course it's not as difficult as doing Physics 7 days a week, but it's not a walk in the park either. That being said, if I'm not working there really is little to do here. I have little urge to go to the shooting range, no desire to visit the discos or hang around prostitutes, and going to the bars to sip coke listening to the same songs over and over while engulfed in a cloud of cigarette smoke gets old pretty quickly.

The dive sites still hold their charm but my requests to explore and search for new sites are always to no avail. The beach holds no refuge as it is completely submerged during high tide and filled with litter and stray dogs during low tide. I continue to visit the same restaurants and cafes every day due to the fact that I've been to nearly every one of them in Sabang. I have been craving a traditional deep-dish pepperoni pizza for over a week but I am forced to cope. The decision to cook for myself leads to difficulties of its own. I lack access to both an oven and microwave so everything that I cook is done over one single gas burner with heavily used cookware. These limitations combined with the lack in grocery selection causes my meals to regularly be at a low standard.

I have yet to find an individual who shares my sense of humor or my has similar interests, interests which exclude both prostitution and binge drinking. Fellow Americans are few and far between, and the few who are under the age of 30 are guaranteed to be here for no more than 5 days. Regardless, the ones I do find often don't relieve my feeling of being an outsider; an American man yesterday insisted that I speak as if I'm from Scandinavia after learning I have residence in Ohio.

My job search is determined to make me go crazy. On one hand it gives me something to do that does not involve going to a bar. On the other hand it is unspeakably discouraging. To date, I've sent out 30 emails to dive resorts in Indonesia (for November through late January) as well as Seychelles, Mauritius, Madagascar, Maldives, Zanzibar, and Reunion Island (for late January until May). The response count is up to 11. 8 responses were negative, 2 are very unlikely, and the other is a freelance opportunity for a location I'm not thrilled about. For every email I send, I dig through the internet for resorts in the regions of interest and scour their website to determine if a) they appear reputable and b) to find something special about the resort that I like. After doing that, I write an email from scratch geared toward the particular resort and why I am interested in working with them specifically. The only redeeming thing about the job search is the realization of my lack of limitations. Assuming I am able to find a job, I can move to any tropical coastal location in the world (well, Cuba might be difficult).

Those who know me will not be surprised to hear me say that within every difficulty there is something to be gained. My appreciation for the amenities of life back home has grown. I am learning to improvise and make due with what is presented to me. Who I am and what I like is becoming more evident as time goes on – I am getting to know myself more. Although there are a lot of great things happening while I'm here and it's nice to focus on those and overlook everything else, there is an important lesson that must not be forgotten. One's level of happiness is a state of mind that is based on experiences. In other words, it's the downs in life that make the ups so much more enjoyable. Put even more simply, life with no struggle is hardly life at all. Because of this, I am content with my discontent and happy to grow from every struggle. In a strange way, even bad days can be good.

Well, I'm off to a bar to hang out for a while before making myself a simple dinner.